Nothing and Everything- Week One

     Last Sunday at 180 we started a new series, entitled Nothing and Everything. I think Duey is hitting this spot on, and I myself think that this topic can't be pushed enough, even though it may not be the one we necessarily want to listen to. I'm calling it the feel good lesson of the year, and you'll soon learn that is total sarcasm. But it comes with a firm promise at the end. Enjoy!
   
 The whole series started with one sentence:

I am Nothing.

     Well I'm sure that put you in a great mood, but like it or not, that is the total truth. The world teaches us from the minute we are born that we are everything. Conflicting, isn't it? That is part of the reason that we feel we need so many things, and our hearts are filled with endless want. We make ourselves out to be the biggest and most important thing, but that's not how it should be.

     In James 4:14 it says, "Why you don't even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and vanishes". I don't know about you, but that really opens my eyes because that verse is exactly right. The truth is we don't want to fully surrender to the fact that we are so small and insignificant, and no matter what we think, we have no control over what happens. Now ask yourself this question: Out of 7 billion people that live on this Earth, how many of them actually care about you? The answer is an incredibly small number. That should definitely shrink your ego in size. We need to humble ourselves down to the level of what we really are, and stop pretending to be something we're not.

     But consider this: God takes us from the nothing and loves us more than anything in the world. The God of the universe, that created every single thing and knows every star in the sky by name loves you. And who am I that God would care for me, just a small human being? (from Psalm 8:3-4) We are nothing compared to Him. He could kill us all right at this very moment without even having to bat an eye if He wanted, but instead He demonstrates His undying love. We have the opportunity to accept God into our lives and He will be our everything. He wants to guide us and help us draw closer to Him.

     Sometimes we forget the fact that we are nothing. Three specific things come from this:

1. We start to live for US- we use people and things for our own purpose
2. We start to live entitled- we feel like we are owed everything 
3. We loose sight of our need for God- We start to think he is nothing because we put ourselves first

     We should never think that we are bigger than God. When this happens we tend to think of God as someone we can put in a box and just store away until we need Him. That is never the case. God cannot be contained and we should never try to do such a thing. He should always be on the throne of our hearts and the center of our lives. 

The main thing to remember is that we are nothing, and God is everything.

    So when things get busy, or you start to lose sight of God's presence, just stop. Take a moment and experience Him. There is nothing more important than God. And even though you might get busy, never forget the reason that you are here, living, and breathing. God will prove He is your everything, you just have to give Him the chance.

Psalm 46:10

Be still and know that I am God.

     

Not a fan. (Part Two)

Well, I'm back with some more thoughts from Not a fan. Enjoy and dig deep into part two!
     This section starts off with the story of Nicodemus, a man who is ready to follow Jesus, but isn't ready for the commitment. So, he goes to talk to Jesus: at night. Wait a minute, Nicodemus could talk to Jesus at anytime because he was near, but he chooses to wait until night time. Why the night? Well, no one would see him or have to know, he could avoid being questioned on it, and he could have this relationship without having his life disrupted.
     How many times has this been us? Seemingly going "undercover" to have a relationship with Christ. We want all the benefits, but don't want to pay the price. There's a big point to all of this: being a secret admirer of Jesus costs nothing, but being a true follower always has a high price. So why aren't we willing to pay it?
     Most people don't care if Jesus changes the small things in our lives. But that's not quite what he has in mind. Jesus wants to turn our lives upside down, completely remodel it and make it to be as He wants. So why don't we want the God of the universe to change things for us? Perhaps the one thing He wants is the thing we don't want to let go. Maybe our fear of change overtakes our trust in Him. As if we had the one thing that would prove too much for Him! I promise you, nothing that we feel burdened with is too much for God! The truth of the matter is that fans only want to be inspired, but Jesus wants to interfere.
     Continuing from yesterday, our measurements to whether or not we are true followers are not the same as His. In John 3:3 Jesus says this: I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again. He doesn't want us to just believe, he wants us to follow. Basically, Jesus doesn't just want us at night, he wants us during the day too. He's not waiting for us to say we believe in him, he's waiting to see how we live it out!
     Following calls for intentional movement. In the gospels Jesus says "Believe in me" around 5 times. He says "Follow me" about 20 times. Coincidence? You can't separate believing from following. If you do, it turns to nothing. There is no following without belief. That being said, the focus is put too much on the believing side. This is especially true when we try to bring people to Christ.
     The truth is following Jesus is a 24/7 commitment that will mess with your life, guaranteed.
     There is no forgiveness without repentance.
     There is no salvation without surrender.
     There is no life without death.
     There is no believing without committing.
     What do you need to repent, surrender, or let die?
That's all for this post. So ask yourself, will you choose to follow? Will you follow Jesus into the light?

John 3:21

But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, 

so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done 

has been done through God.

    

Not a fan. (Part One)

     So, I've been trying to decide what I should talk about next on my blog. Obviously I still am going to review and recap the 180 lessons every week, but I needed something more. I decided that I am going walk through the book Not a fan by Kyle Idleman. I am currently reading this book and it is deeply speaking to me. I hope that you get as much out of my posts as I have gotten out of the book!
     The book opens with a simple question:

"Are you a follower of Jesus?"

It seems like such a simple question, and to a lot of people it seems like there is no point to it. Most of us are quick to say yes, but do we fully grasp the concept? The truth is the question is probably the most important question you will answer in your life. One of the most chilling stories in the bible is in Matthew 7, when Jesus tells us that one day every person that every lived will stand before God, and many people who thought they were Christians will be denied the right into Heaven. Jesus will tell them that he never even knew them! To be honest that scares me! How many people will that happen to that I know? How am I sure that it won't happen to me too?

     Going back to the big question, everyday we answer it in our own way, whether it is indirectly or directly. How we act, speak, and treat others all shows if we are true followers of God or not. So what happens if we're not true followers of Christ? Well, then you would be just a fan. We all know who the fans are. Like with me, I am a die hard Rocky fan. I own every movie, watch them all the time, own the soundtracks. I could tell you what years they came out and who all the actors are. I could even quote all of the movies for you! But what does it really matter? There will come a day when Rocky no longer appeals to me, and I'll become a fan of another thing.

     A lot of people are this way towards God. They are there when things are going well, but if trouble sets in they are the first ones to abandon the whole "Christian thing." They won't sacrifice for Him, but feel as if they know all about Him. The truth is Jesus never wanted fans.

     So what makes us so sure we are actually followers? A lot of people, definitely including myself, try to gauge our level of Christianity by how other people act. It's like we have the mindset that as long as we're better than the next person or have our life's more put together we're fine. Others base it off of how much of themselves they give to God. Knowledge of the Bible is another big way we grade ourselves when it comes to following.

     Fans commonly confuse liking for devotion, knowledge for sacrifice, and they think good intentions make up for lack of faith. How can we really be sure that we won't be the ones who aren't allowed into Heaven on that day? How do we know that we are followers, and not just another fan? Jesus shares with us the real way we can find this out, and soon enough I will be posting them, but that will be left for another post!

     Well, I desperately hope that this post kept your attention and got you thinking about your true status. My next post will continue to dive into this amazing book, I'd recommend you to pick up a copy of it. It would definitely be worth you money and time. Once again I leave you with a verse:

Romans 14:8

If we live, we live for the Lord;

 and if we die, we die for the Lord. 

So whether we live or die, 

we belong to the Lord.

Sharing My Scar

     So, Sunday was the last night of our 180 series, Scarred. As many of you reading this are aware, I was one of the people who shared my scars. So here is the long awaited post about it:
     Last Sunday I decided to send Duey my scar story. It had been weighing heavily on my mind, so I had to do something about it. To be honest I didn't think my scar was such a big deal, just for the fact is wasn't exactly some big, huge thing. Duey replied and was thrilled that I wanted to speak, and I decided that if he thought it was worth while I should share. Throughout my week things started to brighten and everything seemed to come back to normal. It suddenly seemed irrelevant to share my story.
     Sunday morning suddenly was upon me, and I waited until after Core to go and face Duey. As I walked up to him, his face lit up as he asked if I was going to speak that night. I told him that I didn't think I would, and continued to tell him my thoughts. What he said next completely changed my view. He said that perhaps the devil gave me a good week in hopes of making me not speak. That statement held so much truth in it! I couldn't really believe it though! I never thought that Satan could really do that. The truth is I was just beginning to see his evilness.
     I went home to my computer so I could get on my email, which was where my scar story was stored. But obviously, the internet didn't work. I wasn't shocked in the slightest. Certain of the cause of my problems I began to write out what I would say. I became frustrated and frantic. The words that I wanted to say wouldn't come out and I was beginning to think the devil was winning. Then, a friend texted me and I told him about my situation. He gave me the best advice. He told me to pray about it, and that God would give me the words He wanted me to share. Without those words of encouragement, I don't know if I could have done it. Thank you Sam. Just to let you know my computer didn't work the whole rest of the time I was home. My mom even bought a new cord while I was at youth group. When I got home, I ran to my room, knowing full well what the status of the computer would be. It was perfect, no problems or anything. It still freaks me out to thinking about how close the devil is to us, and how much power he has over worldly things! It's crazy!
     Regardless of what Satan tried to do, he ultimately failed. So here's what I shared with my 180 family:
If you were to look at me you wouldn't think that I had any scars. I'm always that happy smiling girl that hangs around with a lot of people. 
The truth is that's not me. Everyday I have to put on a mask, just so people don't know that something is wrong. I always feel like I am so alone. I honestly don't have anyone at school that I can talk to. My one true friend abandoned me and now tells other people my secrets. I sit at a lunch table full of supposed friends everyday, and I rarely get talked to. Because of the emptiness I dive into school and band just to keep my mind off of it. The one thing that helped me was when I would go home at night to sing and play worship songs because I knew that God would never leave my side.
Some days are better than others now because I have the support of people from youth group. Here I've finally found someone who I can open up to about anything and everything, and genuinely cares about me. (That person would be Sam Dusenbery. And to you Sam, I thank you for all of the support and love you have shown me, you are a true friend.) Sometimes I don't know how I would get along without him. Loneliness is still a problem to me, but slowly and surely I am healing.
     After sharing I felt as if such a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My speech touched one of the girls in my group personally, and I felt honored to be able to connect with her in that. I knew that through my struggle God was reaching out to people, and that my troubles were for a reason. It was such an amazing feeling to know that I spoke to so many people's hearts.
     As a prologue to what I told my youth group I just wanted to say that emotional scars don't have to be big to affect you in big ways. Smaller scars can be deep, so don't dismiss them as nothing like I almost did. Never be afraid to share your scars with people that you know you can trust. They can help you to find the healing you so desperately need, or just be there for support. Remember that everyone has a scar; and every scar tells a story, but the ending hasn't been written yet. You have the power to choose how it ends. Take a risk to find healing, and remember that God heals if you let him.

     

I will leave you with our verse of the night, which hits home with me so much.

Genesis 50:20

You intended to harm me, 

but God intended it for good

to accomplish what is now being done: 

the saving of many lives.

Scarred: Week Two

     For two weeks we have been in the Scarred series. Duey's points on all of the issues are valid and I totally agree with them. The main purpose of this post is to review the main points and add my thoughts to the mix, giving you a deeper look into what I think. These are all my true and honest feelings.
     Adding on to the idea that everyone has emotional scars, this week we talked about how people heal themselves. Obviously, they are not all healthy. Healthy healing is much better in the long run, but "Band-Aid" healing is faster, and at the time it seems like the best thing to do. The temporary relief feels good, but the aftermath has many different reactions.
     Many people, including myself, stuff their scars way down inside of them with the hopes of never having to deal with them. Personally, I dive into other activities, such as school and band as a way to "forget" about my scars of my troubles. Eventually the scars surface, and not in the way we all would like.
     The first way is by exploding. The saddest part is we usually explode at the people who try to help us or love us the most. Another way is to pout. For me pouting results into self pity, which sometimes leads even further into sadness. The third was to deny. Now, this may not be so obvious as the first two. The number one lie is when people say they are fine. This is denial too. To me, part of pouting and denial is that we want people to see that something is wrong, and somehow get the satisfaction of turning someone down.
     All of the ways to deal with scars are not bad. The general first step is so realize that Jesus wants to heal you.(Luke 19:10) Another thing that's not easy to do is doing the opposite of what feels safe. This option is not only extremely hard, but requires you to put yourself out there. Recently I tried this option, and the results were positive. I got the closure I needed, but the highest moment of fear was when I didn't know what would happen to me because of my opposite action. The opposite way of thinking applies not only to scars. The more I think about it, the more this idea relates back to how you live for God. If I am scared, I can just do the opposite of what I feel safe doing because I know that God will use my willingness in big ways. He wants to do big things through me, but I must make myself available to do his work.
     There are four specific ways to have healthy healing. One is to connect through safe friends. My one thought on this is that you need to make sure that you can trust these friends. One of the worst things I have experienced is trusting a friend who turned around and shared my secrets with others. Once I have found that person I can trust, which is now my 180 leader, I use total honesty. Hiding things from people who care about me won't help. Repenting and repairing comes next. Even taking time to confess my sins and praying is an example of this. As I said before, being available for God's use is key.
     Okay, so I know this blog post was kind of long, but hopefully it was worth your reading. Very deep thoughts, especially for me, but that comes with the topic. Now I leave you with an encouraging verse, regardless of what may be going on in your life right now, God loves and cares about you.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. 
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. 
Plans to give you hope and a future.

The Struggle for Today

     Okay, so here I am, trying to start a blog again. I am always wanting to type my thoughts and put them in a blog, but usually end up getting too busy to follow through. Hopefully I can make this my first successful blog. I have so much I want to tell about and even more that I need to say. I am praying that God can use me and this blog to spread his own thoughts, ideas, and words, not just the ones that are my own.
     Last week we started a new series in 180 called scarred. The teaching was spot on, but not what we all wanted to hear. Every time that someone pushes in I have the tendency to want to back out, because honestly, the topic hurts and is not enjoyable to recall. This time I tried to look at this series with an open heart. I think it has had amazing results so far. It has also helped immensely that I have someone who I can talk openly to about all of my past scars and problems. I have learned that even though it seems like I am the only one who goes through struggles, but God's word shows that's not the truth.
   In  1 Peter 4:12-13 it shows me that all Christian WILL have trials and troubles in our lives, and that I should not be surprised when it happens. I can find peace by knowing that even though I face some struggles, Jesus has faced them all and has conquered every single one. (John 16:33). This point was made even more concrete into my brain when it appeared in my examen.me reading for today. By the way if you don't use this service, you totally should.
     So this really all came together for me when Duey gave his message this morning. One of his main points was about living for today. Upon first hearing that the obvious thing to think is of course I'm living for today, how could I not be? Then I started to think deeper, and he's right. We usually aren't living for today, but instead a distant time in the future. What would happen if we all just stopped, and took advantage of what the Lord wants us to do today? Multitudes of thing could be done as he wants, and not when we feel that we have time.
     This is especially true of me. I am pushing away my problems into further days, saying when this happens I'll deal with it. I'll finally start my devotions once my schedule clears up. When the truth actually is I need to make a conscious effort to carve out time for God. I should never put Him second to my life. I mean He's the reason I'm here!
     So I am choosing to live for today. Even though it may be a struggle I know that it will pay off. I don't expect this to be easy. The devil will try to position road blocks in my way, but I will fight back with the truth that God has placed on my heart. I can't wait for tomorrow, because the time is now.

Hosea 10:12

I said 'Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. 

Plow up the hard ground of your hearts,

for now is the time to seek the lord, 

that he may come up and shower righteousness upon you.