Oceans

So, it's been brought to my attention lately how big the Hillsong United song, Oceans, has gotten at Indianola Community Church. Which is super crazy to think about because I can still remember on March 31st, 2014 when the youth band first performed that song. It was just sort of a new idea, we were unsure of the reception this song would get. But crazily enough, the congregation fell in love with it. We've probably played it more than ten times in the different bands since that day. Now don't get me wrong, I love the song and it is so fun to sing, but after that much playing and practicing time it has started to get old.
Today as I was listening to a live version of the song, I was suddenly struck by the completely amazing message behind the song. All of the apathy I was feeling toward the song faded away, and I was reminded of why we chose this song in the first place. This song is so full of truth and encouragement, but I had to just look beyond the surface.

#1: God is calling YOU

The song starts out with God calling us. This statement is always super easy for me to overlook. I hear it all the time that God is calling me to do greater things, to be more with him. But why do I take it so lightly? Seriously though! Just the fact that God even wants me is so amazing. Him; a perfect, holy God, wanting me; a broken, messed up person. How can I overlook that? How can I possibly think so highly of myself to not catch the weight of that statement! He doesn't have to call after me, but he chooses to pursue me each and every single day, even after I consistently ignore and disobey him.

I think the other thing that really gets me about this point is what God is calling me to do. He's not telling me do what I choose or would feel comfortable doing. He's telling me to go out into the unknown. I mean, that is a little scary when you think about it. Not knowing what will happen or having control of the situation. But that is the beauty of it all. God knows what is going on, and he is in complete and total control of the situation. When you are willing to take the leap, to jump into the new God will meet you in that place and pick up where you left off. He will guide you through.

#2: God will be there with you

I think it is easy to think of God as far off and uninvolved in our lives, when it is actually the exact opposite. I mean, the love that God has for us is so powerful that he was willing to cross that gap and meet us where we are. When you do take that leap of faith, God isn't going to let you fall. He wants to walk hand in hand with you through everything. God's love and grace will cover you and they aren't going to ever stop. I love how the song puts it: you've never failed, and you won't stop now. It's so true. With everything that I go through in my life, one thing is constant: God. He's never left me, never stopped loving me, never gave up. So why would he now? There is nothing I can do that will make that happen, so I need to start acknowledging it. Start living like God is with you, instead of acting like he is out of reach.

#3: God longs to lead you

It's so easy for me to want to control every aspect of my life. I want to know what is going on, and I want to feel in charge of it all. But that isn't what God wants is it? He wants me to give up control and surrender it to him. God doesn't need you to do more for Him. He just wants more of us. God wants us to be fully dependent on him so that he can do more through us. So less of us actually means more of God. He wants to lead us to a place only he can. And I don't know about you, but I long to be taken there, where nothing matters except God. Easier said than done though. I don't really think there is an easy answer for this one. You have to be willing to let go of everything in order to grab hold of Him. Let God lead you to a place past your boundaries and into His love.

So, with all that said, I want to wrap this up with what I believe is the biggest point of the whole song. That through all of this, your faith will be made stronger in the presence of God. Let him be the strength when you aren't strong, your hope when you seem to have none. Because God uses that to do greater things in and through you. Let Him lead you to places of great faith, wherever he calls you to go. Because no matter what happens, you are still His, and he is yours.



All Things New

A couple of weeks ago our high school youth group went on a retreat that was called Unstoppable. We talked about how God takes us and makes us unstoppable through our faith even though sometimes we might not think that it is possible. For me this was extremely important because without even realizing it I had fallen off of the path God had set out for me. Now it wasn't an intentional misstep, it usually isn't. But through complacency some basic laziness on my part I began to settle for decent things, but not necessarily God things. Through the whole thing I just began to write down thoughts I was having and I pieced them all together. I also am going to say some of this on Sunday during our youth worship service, so I sort of based the whole thing around the song All Things New by Elevation Worship, so Enjoy!

In 2 Corinthians 5:17 it says that you have been made new by God. Every single one of you who have accepted Christ into your heart is a new creation, you are no longer defined by what you were or what you did, but by what God is doing in you. You are free from all of the sin and the weights. You don't have to be held back anymore by your past experiences. So let them go, give it all to God because He doesn't want you to hold on to them any longer. Remember that no matter how far away you seem from God, or how long you've been running away, or how many times you've turned your back and went on your own path, God is always ready to take you back with open arms. You are never too far gone to go back to God. God's love isn't conditional and it won't run out on you. And there's nowhere that you can go where He can't reach you. God is just waiting for you to run back to Him. It doesn't matter if you're walking side by side with God or if you are on a completely different city, God loves you and wants to close that gap. He loves you and wants you to be with Him. He's calling you home, will you listen?

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, 

the new creation has come:

The old has gone, the new has come!

Dodgeball, Twizzlers, and Duct Tape Bras

Now you may be wondering how those three things can even fit together in one title. The only answer to that question is middle school youth group. Yup, the awesome, loud, and especially smelly students that come to The ROCK every Wednesday sure do fit the description. This year I get the amazing privilege to be a leader for the sixth grade girls.

I got to know some of these girls this summer during a program for our incoming 6th graders. I wasn't sure how well they would like me, but I guess they decided I would do as a leader. Every week of youth group they have been getting progressively more attached.

It started off with some simple texts, but it has grown to almost daily chats with my girls about anything and everything. Whenever they see me I am everything but attacked by them all. I love them, but having a really bad sunburn doesn't exactly help my case (insert silent sobs of pain here). On top of that I was almost dismembered tonight from being pulled so many different directions for game time. During small group they always have a lot to say, but it's not always on topic even though it can be enteraining to us leaders...

So all of this craziness really has shown me one major thing: a renewed love for middle schoolers. I never really understood before why Duey said that they were his favorite, but I am beginning to see why. My girls have so much energy, they just want to learn about things and ask so many questions, they aren't afraid of failure or other people, and they will do just about anything!

I can't wait to grow even closer to them and make so many stupid memories together. No matter what is in store for our group this year, one thing is for sure: I LOVE youth ministry!!

The Struggle to Follow His Plan

     So I have really been meaning to write this post, but I just couldn't find the time that I needed to actually sit down and write it out. The truth is I had time, but I was just wasn't present in it and was focused on other things instead. I was listening to some Jeremy Camp music in class today, (which by the way if you don't have his new album, Reckless, you need to get it because every track is amazing!) and the lyrics just brought me back and I knew it was time to get writing!
     Sunday night at youth group we were watching a Lou Giglio video, which is always a good decision.   We were watching it with the thought of what does God want from my life? Even though I was loving the video my mind began to wonder. Suddenly, God put something in front of me that changed my life completely around.
     First, let's have a little backstory time! For about five years I have been on the medical track. I was convinced that I was going to take high school nursing classes and eventually become a pediatric doctor. Pretty ambitious, but I had my whole life based upon this one thing. I was basically fast-tracking my way through life. Whenever the whole "only God knows what you will do with your life" conversation came up I just went right on through it, because honestly I knew what I was going to do and it was all done with. No negotiating, I was certain of it, or so I thought.
     But back to Sunday night, as I sat there a thought enveloped me, sunk deep down inside me. Like a song you can't get out of your head, a scary movie scene you can't stop thinking about. Something that you can't just leave alone. God was telling me His plan for my life. And to my dismay, it wasn't what I wanted either. He was telling me that the medical field wasn't His plan, ministry was. Now that was enough to completely overwhelm me with emotion. I almost started crying. At first I was in disbelief, this couldn't be right! All of my careful planning, my scheduling, my classes, all of it focused on one thing. And now all of the sudden it is all out the window! How could He do this to me?
     But then I thought about it for a minute. God was giving me my mission. He was telling me my purpose in this world, and that in itself changed my whole perspective around. I was being called to do something bigger than myself, bigger than I had ever imagined I would do. Don't get me wrong, I've always been big into ministry. Since seventh grade I have been looking forward to being a youth leader, and nothing brought me more joy than teaching little kids at Sunday school. But every time it was brought up as something more than just a one day a week thing I turned away. I know now that He has told me it is what I am to do, I laugh remembering my friends who were telling me that all along!
     I know this will not be easy. I am not expecting it to be. I will have to change every aspect of my plans, but I do it with an open heart and an open mind. I am not sure of what area of ministry I will go into, but I trust that God will reveal it to me when the time is right. All the while I am researching and praying for guidance and a calm heart. Honoring God's plan is not always the most convenient thing for us to do, but in the long run it is the only plan that matters.

Mark 8:34-35

Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: 

 “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, 

but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it."

My Lent Project (Day 1)

Well it's been a while since I posted my last blog. I've been very busy and sadly haven't made much time for this part of my life. With that said I hope to carve out time more often so I can write more blog posts. On top of my regular posts I will be periodically informing you of my Lent progress. This year I am giving up meats and desserts, so it will be extremely hard for me, seeing that I could basically qualify as a meatitarian. I will try to keep updating my progress/struggles as much as I can. I know this will be hard, but I also know it will totally be worth it!

Now, for a picture of my awesome(not) lunch today! Chocolate milk, breadstick, chips, and wilted salad!(I opted out of eating the mini apple.)

Matthew 19:26 

Jesus looked at them and said, 

“With man this is impossible, 

but with God all things are possible.”

More than a Song.

I am sitting on a bus, which is on it's way to a speech competition in Omaha. I am listening to my regular playlist, just like always. Suddenly a Chris Tomlin song comes on. Nothing new, but for some reason today it sticks out even more than usual. The song is How Great is Our God.

Usually I just listen to this song, maybe sing along, and think nothing of it. But today is different. I am not sure why, but my whole outlook is different as I hear it today. I look out the window and just marvel at creation. How beautiful it is, how pure, how perfect. God made it all, and sometimes we take for granted how spectacular it really is.

As I sit and quietly reflect I am being torn down. God is really letting me have it. How lately I haven't been the true servant I should be, how I have been putting Him off. It hurts when I think of all the opportunities I have been given this week to make something amazing out of a simple situation, and how many times I have turned God down just because I didn't want to. How selfish I have been.

It's not always easy to do what God asks. Most of the time it is just plain hard.
It wasn't guaranteed to be easy, it was just guaranteed to be worth it. I am reminded of that today. So I will try harder to have reckless obedience towards God. We could all use more of that. But my point doesn't end there.

What would happen if songs were more than just songs to us? If when we heard them we actually took the meanings to heart and did more than just sing? Worship is not just singing. It it showing our adoration and thankfulness to God, honoring Him. So maybe the next time a song comes on the radio, you shouldn't sing, maybe you should just sit quietly and honestly reflect on it. The outcome might just surprise you.

"When the music fades, and all is stripped away, and I simply come. Longing just to bring something thats of worth, that will bless Your heart. I'll bring You more than a song for a song in itself, it's not what You have required. You search much deeper within through the way things appear, You're looking into my heart." -Matt Redman, Heart of Worship.

The Stuggle to be Humble

     Today I was reading through the creation story. You're probably thinking oh yeah, big deal, heard it a thousand times. If you are like me and grew up in the church you probably have this story memorized. It starts to seem like just another event, something that isn't that important.
     But that's where you are wrong. In my opinion, this is one of the most overlooked stories in the bible. We seem to minimize this marvelous event, when in fact we should hold it even higher. This is the story of how we came to be! How God made us!
     What gets me most is how much effort had to be put in on God's part: He didn't break a sweat, He didn't even lift a finger! He merely spoke and the world came into existence, the cosmos were created! No big deal for God. This just shows how mightly and powerful our God is.
     But it also shows how small we are. This is were the humbleness part of the post comes in. It's is so easy for us to make ourselves into something so big, like we are the most important, like we're the ones that need exhaulted. We tend to put God in a box of sorts. Store Him away until we need Him because we're okay and we can do just fine by ourselves. That couldn't be farther from the truth.
     We need to realize that God isn't some small thing that can be smothered and put away. He is bigger than we could ever imagine. Think back to the creation story: it was so easy for God to create us, how easy would it be to destroy us? But the God of the Universe loves us and chooses to dwell in us all. He paid the ultimate price for us and just wants our love in return. He wants to have an eternal, never ending relationship with us.
     So shouldn't we give Him more credit? Shouldn't we be lifting Him up instead of ourselves? The next time that you get a big head about something or take all the glory for your talents, remember who created you and gave you all those talents. Maybe you'll be like me, and start to see things in a different light.

Psalms 71:14

But as for me, 

I will always have hope; 

I will praise you more and more.

Not a Fan. (Part 5)

     Some people think that being a Christian is defined by religion. They think it is about following the religious rules and principles. Following the rules keep them focused on the outside, but who they are inside is what Jesus pays attention to. Don't confuse following the rules with following him. Many fans get caught up on what people see on the outside, but it's just a mask. What we see is not who they really are. Some people play the role so well that they even fool themselves.
     Jesus wants someone who doesn't pretend like they have it all together. Sadly, that's what most people, including myself, do. How easy is it to act like everything is alright? It is so much simpler than letting people in on your struggles. That would show that your life isn't so simple, isn't so stable. But it's okay to no be okay. The fact of the matter is that Jesus doesn't expect us to be perfect, He just wants us to be genuine.
     When we truly follow Jesus, our obedience comes from the inside out. Your actions will begin to reflect your true feelings about and for Jesus. His love for others will shine out of you. Fans simply give their time and attention to following rules, but they neglect to show God's love to others. They use God's law to beat up people who are already hurting. Instead, we should lift people up because of our beliefs. Laws should never be more important than love.
     It's not enough to just say and do the right things. Jesus doesn't want the fake you. He wants the real you: the sinful, messed up, broken person that has faults and regrets and is in desperate need of a Savior. The keyword for guilt and fear is 'do'. We try to do enough to make up for our sins and earn God's favor. Well, that will never be possible. There is nothing we can do to earn God's favor. God has given us the gift of eternal life, we just have to accept it. The keyword for grace is 'done'. Our punishment was taken by Christ. He has made a way where there was no way so we could live with a freedom and appreciation for what He has done for us.
     Fans will sooner or later get exhausted and grow tired of trying to keep up outer appearances that don't match an inner passion. If you are plagued by the constant fear that you need to follow every single rule just to keep up religion, worry no more. Jesus came to free you from religion. He doesn't care about those things. He just wants a real relationship with you. One that is built on love and trust, one that will last an eternity.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened,

and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, 

for I am gentle and humble in heart 

and you will find rest for your souls. 

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.

Day of silence

Remembering, honoring & praying for the families and friends of:

Charlotte Bacon, 6

Olivia Engel, 6

Dylan Hockley, 6

Jesse Lewis, 6

Ana Marquez-Greene, 6

Grace McDonnell, 7

Emilie Parker, 6

Noah Pozner, 6

Jessica Rekos, 6

Daniel Barden, 7

Josephine Gay, 7

Madeleine Hsu, 6

Catherine Hubbard, 6

Chase Kowalski, 7

James Mattioli, 6

Jack Pinto, 6

Caroline Previdi, 6

Avielle Richman, 6

Benjamin Wheeler, 6

Allison Wyatt, 6

Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung, 47

Anne Marie Murphy, 52

Mary Sherlach, 56

Lauren Rousseau, 30

Victoria Soto, 27

Rachel D'Avino, 29.

Not a Fan. (Part Four)

     What Jesus is most concerned about is our level of commitment. When Jesus tells us what he expects, he isn't just talking to one specific group. He is talking to all people who want to follow him. Jesus is always honest when it comes to what following Him will cost us.

     

Luke 14:25-26: If anyone come to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters- yes even his own life- he cannot be my disciple.

     Now he doesn't literally mean that you must hate those people, because that would be going against all that the bible teaches. What Jesus means is that compared to Him, you must hate everyone else. That's how much he should mean to you. Jesus wants to be first place, but He wants to be the only one. He doesn't want there to be a second place. Don't make Jesus one of many, make Him your one and only. Fans want a loving, committed relationship, but they don't want to make it exclusive. Jesus will not share your affection; you must follow him wholeheartedly. There are many things that compete for Jesus' attention, and you may not even realize it. So ask yourself these things:

     1. For what do you sacrifice your money?

What you spend your money on is the true desire of your heart and it is usually what you follow. Money is Jesus' number one competition. People sacrifice time and money for things because they think they will find satisfaction. For many people satisfaction has a price tag. But Jesus wants to be our lone satisfaction. Money promises to do what God wants to do for us and unlike Him, it cannot fully deliver. Matthew 6:24- No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.

     2. When you're hurt, where do you go for comfort?

Things have the potential to compete with Jesus over our devotion and affection. It's not wrong to be comforted by friends, but they do take the place of Jesus. When the first response is to turn to anyone or anything besides Jesus, it shows we are following something other than Him. When we go through pain it shows who has our affection.

     3. What disappoints, excites, or frustrates you the most?

When you are overwhelmed with these emotions something has become too important. When things have the power to determine who we are and how we act, it's more important than it should be. Some level of this is okay, but getting too emotional shows that Jesus isn't necessarily your one and only.

     Following Jesus means following him alone, He's not interested in sharing our hearts. When Jesus says he will not share our affection or devotion, he isn't just saying how He wants to be loved. He is describing how He loves us. Jesus puts us first, He loves us with His whole heart, and nothing gets in between us. Trying to follow Jesus part-time is impossible. Being a Christian isn't easy; before you commit, make sure you understand what it costs. It isn't cheap; you can lose, and lose big. From the day you become a follower, Satan will be after you. It will be an everyday struggle, but it will always be worth it.

Matthew 16:24-25

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."

Nothing and Everything- Week Two

Finally getting around to posting this! Sorry for the long delay! Definitely a good post to read though! Full of awesome truths of how much we are loved and mean to God!

     So this was the second and final week of our series, Nothing and everything. The mood has definitely improved from the first message. The main point of this week was I am everything.
     The key verse was Luke 19:10: For the Son of Man came to seek and save the lost. The whole rest of the night was based around this verse.
     1. Came- Jesus came to Earth because He thought we were valuable. The God of the Universe thought we were valuable. That within itself should make you feel full of worth. No matter what people may think, you are loved by God, and that it is all that matters.
     2. Seek- Jesus never waited for people to find Him. He would always go look for people. The truth is He is calling us by name, right now, at this very moment. We may not be listening though. We need to open up our heart and let Jesus enter it. How will you respond?
     3. Save- The value of something is determined by how much you are willing to pay for it. So how valuable are we? Well, Jesus gave his life for us. That is worth a lot. He was willing to pay the ultimate price for us, shouldn't we be able to give ourselves to Him?
     When you think about it we're not nothing or everything, we're nothing and everything. We must remember that God is what makes us everything, we aren't capable of doing it ourselves. In our nothingness, the God of the Universe gave everything for us.

Matthew 10:29-31

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? 

Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. 

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 

So don't be afraid; 

you are worth more than many sparrows.

Not a Fan. (Part Three)

     It's been awhile since I have posted on the book I'm currently reading, so I'l just go ahead and dive right in. Fans SEEM to know more than followers. They can tell you all of these random facts and recite whole paragraphs, but that's not the point. They don't really know God, they just know about him. In Matthew 15:8 it says "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me." many fans give their minds to studying God, but they never surrender their hearts.
     Fans tend to confuse knowledge with intimacy. Some churches have even developed systems of learning that only result in knowledge, not intimacy. Don't get me wrong, studying and learning is a good thing. Knowledge isn't the problem, but it can falsely indicate intimacy. Where there is intimacy there should be growing knowledge, but far too often there is knowledge without a growing intimacy. The best biblical word for intimacy is "yada". This word is also used to describe the type of relationship that God wants with us. It is defined as to know completely and to be completely known. A good example of this is in Psalm 139:

Oh lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I'm far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it Lord.

God knows us completely and he wants to be known by us. Some people consider themselves followers because of what they know about him, but you are true follower when you know Jesus.

     One of the best examples of this is in Luke 7. Jesus is invited over to dinner at Simon's home. He is obviously the guest of honor, but he doesn't receive the usual treatment. Back then, the honored guest was greeted with a kiss, had his feet washed, and his head was anointed with oils. None of this was done for Jesus. In fact, he was openly ignored. All of the sudden, a village prostitute enters the room. Everyone falls silent. They all know what she is, and they can't believe that she is there. Jesus sees her and knows that she has been changed. She had listened to him preaching and had decided to become of follower of him. His eyes light up and he gives her a warm smile. He views her with the pride of a father watching his beautiful daughter. That's how he feels about all of us. Now, no man had ever looked at her like that before. She taken so taken aback that she began sobbing and falls to Jesus feet. As her tears coat his feet, she notices that they haven't been washed. She lets her hair down (which is a sign of extreme intimacy) and wipes his feet with her hair. She pours her perfume on them and she kisses his feet. Jesus then addresses Simon and tells him how Simon neglected him and how the woman shows such respect. in the end, Simon is the fan and the women is the true follower. And who are we most like?

     So, ask yourself this: When's the last time you...

           had one of those moments?

           poured yourself out before God, to God?

           expressed your complete love for him?

           demonstrated your love with reckless abandonment?

Hebrews 4:13

Nothing in all of creation is hidden from God's sight. 

Everything is uncovered and laid bare 

before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.

     

     

Nothing and Everything- Week One

     Last Sunday at 180 we started a new series, entitled Nothing and Everything. I think Duey is hitting this spot on, and I myself think that this topic can't be pushed enough, even though it may not be the one we necessarily want to listen to. I'm calling it the feel good lesson of the year, and you'll soon learn that is total sarcasm. But it comes with a firm promise at the end. Enjoy!
   
 The whole series started with one sentence:

I am Nothing.

     Well I'm sure that put you in a great mood, but like it or not, that is the total truth. The world teaches us from the minute we are born that we are everything. Conflicting, isn't it? That is part of the reason that we feel we need so many things, and our hearts are filled with endless want. We make ourselves out to be the biggest and most important thing, but that's not how it should be.

     In James 4:14 it says, "Why you don't even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and vanishes". I don't know about you, but that really opens my eyes because that verse is exactly right. The truth is we don't want to fully surrender to the fact that we are so small and insignificant, and no matter what we think, we have no control over what happens. Now ask yourself this question: Out of 7 billion people that live on this Earth, how many of them actually care about you? The answer is an incredibly small number. That should definitely shrink your ego in size. We need to humble ourselves down to the level of what we really are, and stop pretending to be something we're not.

     But consider this: God takes us from the nothing and loves us more than anything in the world. The God of the universe, that created every single thing and knows every star in the sky by name loves you. And who am I that God would care for me, just a small human being? (from Psalm 8:3-4) We are nothing compared to Him. He could kill us all right at this very moment without even having to bat an eye if He wanted, but instead He demonstrates His undying love. We have the opportunity to accept God into our lives and He will be our everything. He wants to guide us and help us draw closer to Him.

     Sometimes we forget the fact that we are nothing. Three specific things come from this:

1. We start to live for US- we use people and things for our own purpose
2. We start to live entitled- we feel like we are owed everything 
3. We loose sight of our need for God- We start to think he is nothing because we put ourselves first

     We should never think that we are bigger than God. When this happens we tend to think of God as someone we can put in a box and just store away until we need Him. That is never the case. God cannot be contained and we should never try to do such a thing. He should always be on the throne of our hearts and the center of our lives. 

The main thing to remember is that we are nothing, and God is everything.

    So when things get busy, or you start to lose sight of God's presence, just stop. Take a moment and experience Him. There is nothing more important than God. And even though you might get busy, never forget the reason that you are here, living, and breathing. God will prove He is your everything, you just have to give Him the chance.

Psalm 46:10

Be still and know that I am God.

     

Not a fan. (Part Two)

Well, I'm back with some more thoughts from Not a fan. Enjoy and dig deep into part two!
     This section starts off with the story of Nicodemus, a man who is ready to follow Jesus, but isn't ready for the commitment. So, he goes to talk to Jesus: at night. Wait a minute, Nicodemus could talk to Jesus at anytime because he was near, but he chooses to wait until night time. Why the night? Well, no one would see him or have to know, he could avoid being questioned on it, and he could have this relationship without having his life disrupted.
     How many times has this been us? Seemingly going "undercover" to have a relationship with Christ. We want all the benefits, but don't want to pay the price. There's a big point to all of this: being a secret admirer of Jesus costs nothing, but being a true follower always has a high price. So why aren't we willing to pay it?
     Most people don't care if Jesus changes the small things in our lives. But that's not quite what he has in mind. Jesus wants to turn our lives upside down, completely remodel it and make it to be as He wants. So why don't we want the God of the universe to change things for us? Perhaps the one thing He wants is the thing we don't want to let go. Maybe our fear of change overtakes our trust in Him. As if we had the one thing that would prove too much for Him! I promise you, nothing that we feel burdened with is too much for God! The truth of the matter is that fans only want to be inspired, but Jesus wants to interfere.
     Continuing from yesterday, our measurements to whether or not we are true followers are not the same as His. In John 3:3 Jesus says this: I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again. He doesn't want us to just believe, he wants us to follow. Basically, Jesus doesn't just want us at night, he wants us during the day too. He's not waiting for us to say we believe in him, he's waiting to see how we live it out!
     Following calls for intentional movement. In the gospels Jesus says "Believe in me" around 5 times. He says "Follow me" about 20 times. Coincidence? You can't separate believing from following. If you do, it turns to nothing. There is no following without belief. That being said, the focus is put too much on the believing side. This is especially true when we try to bring people to Christ.
     The truth is following Jesus is a 24/7 commitment that will mess with your life, guaranteed.
     There is no forgiveness without repentance.
     There is no salvation without surrender.
     There is no life without death.
     There is no believing without committing.
     What do you need to repent, surrender, or let die?
That's all for this post. So ask yourself, will you choose to follow? Will you follow Jesus into the light?

John 3:21

But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, 

so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done 

has been done through God.

    

Not a fan. (Part One)

     So, I've been trying to decide what I should talk about next on my blog. Obviously I still am going to review and recap the 180 lessons every week, but I needed something more. I decided that I am going walk through the book Not a fan by Kyle Idleman. I am currently reading this book and it is deeply speaking to me. I hope that you get as much out of my posts as I have gotten out of the book!
     The book opens with a simple question:

"Are you a follower of Jesus?"

It seems like such a simple question, and to a lot of people it seems like there is no point to it. Most of us are quick to say yes, but do we fully grasp the concept? The truth is the question is probably the most important question you will answer in your life. One of the most chilling stories in the bible is in Matthew 7, when Jesus tells us that one day every person that every lived will stand before God, and many people who thought they were Christians will be denied the right into Heaven. Jesus will tell them that he never even knew them! To be honest that scares me! How many people will that happen to that I know? How am I sure that it won't happen to me too?

     Going back to the big question, everyday we answer it in our own way, whether it is indirectly or directly. How we act, speak, and treat others all shows if we are true followers of God or not. So what happens if we're not true followers of Christ? Well, then you would be just a fan. We all know who the fans are. Like with me, I am a die hard Rocky fan. I own every movie, watch them all the time, own the soundtracks. I could tell you what years they came out and who all the actors are. I could even quote all of the movies for you! But what does it really matter? There will come a day when Rocky no longer appeals to me, and I'll become a fan of another thing.

     A lot of people are this way towards God. They are there when things are going well, but if trouble sets in they are the first ones to abandon the whole "Christian thing." They won't sacrifice for Him, but feel as if they know all about Him. The truth is Jesus never wanted fans.

     So what makes us so sure we are actually followers? A lot of people, definitely including myself, try to gauge our level of Christianity by how other people act. It's like we have the mindset that as long as we're better than the next person or have our life's more put together we're fine. Others base it off of how much of themselves they give to God. Knowledge of the Bible is another big way we grade ourselves when it comes to following.

     Fans commonly confuse liking for devotion, knowledge for sacrifice, and they think good intentions make up for lack of faith. How can we really be sure that we won't be the ones who aren't allowed into Heaven on that day? How do we know that we are followers, and not just another fan? Jesus shares with us the real way we can find this out, and soon enough I will be posting them, but that will be left for another post!

     Well, I desperately hope that this post kept your attention and got you thinking about your true status. My next post will continue to dive into this amazing book, I'd recommend you to pick up a copy of it. It would definitely be worth you money and time. Once again I leave you with a verse:

Romans 14:8

If we live, we live for the Lord;

 and if we die, we die for the Lord. 

So whether we live or die, 

we belong to the Lord.

Sharing My Scar

     So, Sunday was the last night of our 180 series, Scarred. As many of you reading this are aware, I was one of the people who shared my scars. So here is the long awaited post about it:
     Last Sunday I decided to send Duey my scar story. It had been weighing heavily on my mind, so I had to do something about it. To be honest I didn't think my scar was such a big deal, just for the fact is wasn't exactly some big, huge thing. Duey replied and was thrilled that I wanted to speak, and I decided that if he thought it was worth while I should share. Throughout my week things started to brighten and everything seemed to come back to normal. It suddenly seemed irrelevant to share my story.
     Sunday morning suddenly was upon me, and I waited until after Core to go and face Duey. As I walked up to him, his face lit up as he asked if I was going to speak that night. I told him that I didn't think I would, and continued to tell him my thoughts. What he said next completely changed my view. He said that perhaps the devil gave me a good week in hopes of making me not speak. That statement held so much truth in it! I couldn't really believe it though! I never thought that Satan could really do that. The truth is I was just beginning to see his evilness.
     I went home to my computer so I could get on my email, which was where my scar story was stored. But obviously, the internet didn't work. I wasn't shocked in the slightest. Certain of the cause of my problems I began to write out what I would say. I became frustrated and frantic. The words that I wanted to say wouldn't come out and I was beginning to think the devil was winning. Then, a friend texted me and I told him about my situation. He gave me the best advice. He told me to pray about it, and that God would give me the words He wanted me to share. Without those words of encouragement, I don't know if I could have done it. Thank you Sam. Just to let you know my computer didn't work the whole rest of the time I was home. My mom even bought a new cord while I was at youth group. When I got home, I ran to my room, knowing full well what the status of the computer would be. It was perfect, no problems or anything. It still freaks me out to thinking about how close the devil is to us, and how much power he has over worldly things! It's crazy!
     Regardless of what Satan tried to do, he ultimately failed. So here's what I shared with my 180 family:
If you were to look at me you wouldn't think that I had any scars. I'm always that happy smiling girl that hangs around with a lot of people. 
The truth is that's not me. Everyday I have to put on a mask, just so people don't know that something is wrong. I always feel like I am so alone. I honestly don't have anyone at school that I can talk to. My one true friend abandoned me and now tells other people my secrets. I sit at a lunch table full of supposed friends everyday, and I rarely get talked to. Because of the emptiness I dive into school and band just to keep my mind off of it. The one thing that helped me was when I would go home at night to sing and play worship songs because I knew that God would never leave my side.
Some days are better than others now because I have the support of people from youth group. Here I've finally found someone who I can open up to about anything and everything, and genuinely cares about me. (That person would be Sam Dusenbery. And to you Sam, I thank you for all of the support and love you have shown me, you are a true friend.) Sometimes I don't know how I would get along without him. Loneliness is still a problem to me, but slowly and surely I am healing.
     After sharing I felt as if such a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders. My speech touched one of the girls in my group personally, and I felt honored to be able to connect with her in that. I knew that through my struggle God was reaching out to people, and that my troubles were for a reason. It was such an amazing feeling to know that I spoke to so many people's hearts.
     As a prologue to what I told my youth group I just wanted to say that emotional scars don't have to be big to affect you in big ways. Smaller scars can be deep, so don't dismiss them as nothing like I almost did. Never be afraid to share your scars with people that you know you can trust. They can help you to find the healing you so desperately need, or just be there for support. Remember that everyone has a scar; and every scar tells a story, but the ending hasn't been written yet. You have the power to choose how it ends. Take a risk to find healing, and remember that God heals if you let him.

     

I will leave you with our verse of the night, which hits home with me so much.

Genesis 50:20

You intended to harm me, 

but God intended it for good

to accomplish what is now being done: 

the saving of many lives.

Scarred: Week Two

     For two weeks we have been in the Scarred series. Duey's points on all of the issues are valid and I totally agree with them. The main purpose of this post is to review the main points and add my thoughts to the mix, giving you a deeper look into what I think. These are all my true and honest feelings.
     Adding on to the idea that everyone has emotional scars, this week we talked about how people heal themselves. Obviously, they are not all healthy. Healthy healing is much better in the long run, but "Band-Aid" healing is faster, and at the time it seems like the best thing to do. The temporary relief feels good, but the aftermath has many different reactions.
     Many people, including myself, stuff their scars way down inside of them with the hopes of never having to deal with them. Personally, I dive into other activities, such as school and band as a way to "forget" about my scars of my troubles. Eventually the scars surface, and not in the way we all would like.
     The first way is by exploding. The saddest part is we usually explode at the people who try to help us or love us the most. Another way is to pout. For me pouting results into self pity, which sometimes leads even further into sadness. The third was to deny. Now, this may not be so obvious as the first two. The number one lie is when people say they are fine. This is denial too. To me, part of pouting and denial is that we want people to see that something is wrong, and somehow get the satisfaction of turning someone down.
     All of the ways to deal with scars are not bad. The general first step is so realize that Jesus wants to heal you.(Luke 19:10) Another thing that's not easy to do is doing the opposite of what feels safe. This option is not only extremely hard, but requires you to put yourself out there. Recently I tried this option, and the results were positive. I got the closure I needed, but the highest moment of fear was when I didn't know what would happen to me because of my opposite action. The opposite way of thinking applies not only to scars. The more I think about it, the more this idea relates back to how you live for God. If I am scared, I can just do the opposite of what I feel safe doing because I know that God will use my willingness in big ways. He wants to do big things through me, but I must make myself available to do his work.
     There are four specific ways to have healthy healing. One is to connect through safe friends. My one thought on this is that you need to make sure that you can trust these friends. One of the worst things I have experienced is trusting a friend who turned around and shared my secrets with others. Once I have found that person I can trust, which is now my 180 leader, I use total honesty. Hiding things from people who care about me won't help. Repenting and repairing comes next. Even taking time to confess my sins and praying is an example of this. As I said before, being available for God's use is key.
     Okay, so I know this blog post was kind of long, but hopefully it was worth your reading. Very deep thoughts, especially for me, but that comes with the topic. Now I leave you with an encouraging verse, regardless of what may be going on in your life right now, God loves and cares about you.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. 
Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. 
Plans to give you hope and a future.

The Struggle for Today

     Okay, so here I am, trying to start a blog again. I am always wanting to type my thoughts and put them in a blog, but usually end up getting too busy to follow through. Hopefully I can make this my first successful blog. I have so much I want to tell about and even more that I need to say. I am praying that God can use me and this blog to spread his own thoughts, ideas, and words, not just the ones that are my own.
     Last week we started a new series in 180 called scarred. The teaching was spot on, but not what we all wanted to hear. Every time that someone pushes in I have the tendency to want to back out, because honestly, the topic hurts and is not enjoyable to recall. This time I tried to look at this series with an open heart. I think it has had amazing results so far. It has also helped immensely that I have someone who I can talk openly to about all of my past scars and problems. I have learned that even though it seems like I am the only one who goes through struggles, but God's word shows that's not the truth.
   In  1 Peter 4:12-13 it shows me that all Christian WILL have trials and troubles in our lives, and that I should not be surprised when it happens. I can find peace by knowing that even though I face some struggles, Jesus has faced them all and has conquered every single one. (John 16:33). This point was made even more concrete into my brain when it appeared in my examen.me reading for today. By the way if you don't use this service, you totally should.
     So this really all came together for me when Duey gave his message this morning. One of his main points was about living for today. Upon first hearing that the obvious thing to think is of course I'm living for today, how could I not be? Then I started to think deeper, and he's right. We usually aren't living for today, but instead a distant time in the future. What would happen if we all just stopped, and took advantage of what the Lord wants us to do today? Multitudes of thing could be done as he wants, and not when we feel that we have time.
     This is especially true of me. I am pushing away my problems into further days, saying when this happens I'll deal with it. I'll finally start my devotions once my schedule clears up. When the truth actually is I need to make a conscious effort to carve out time for God. I should never put Him second to my life. I mean He's the reason I'm here!
     So I am choosing to live for today. Even though it may be a struggle I know that it will pay off. I don't expect this to be easy. The devil will try to position road blocks in my way, but I will fight back with the truth that God has placed on my heart. I can't wait for tomorrow, because the time is now.

Hosea 10:12

I said 'Plant the good seeds of righteousness, and you will harvest a crop of love. 

Plow up the hard ground of your hearts,

for now is the time to seek the lord, 

that he may come up and shower righteousness upon you.